The things you carry, both tangible and intangible, affect the choices that you make. Knowing this, one would think it necessary to let go of the bad things in life. Forgetting these things and letting go may negatively affect you as a whole. Forgetting my past was something I thought of as an important part in moving on and growing. Unfortunately for me, I let myself go whilst attempting to change. Without the help of friends and family, I grew to resent myself. This fact swallowed me whole — Leaving nothing behind. Determined to find myself, I held onto anything that came my way. Peer pressure became my personality; dictating all my actions. Letting go of all I knew myself to be, led me down the path of destruction and terror. Similar to a child, I was lost and confused in a corrupted world. The corruption of the world soon gave me the belief that I was an object of destruction. Striving to remember the horrors of my past became my ongoing obsession. Reading the writings of my past became the only way I could rediscover myself. With this ‘new’ knowledge of myself, I was able to destroy this corruption that ate at my soul. The past that was of me had given birth to the future of my soul- which gives me hope for a brighter life full of purpose and hope. Due to the unveiling of past experiences, I am able to fulfill my purpose of helping those around me. By reading these thoughts and a part of my past, you are giving light to the sense of purpose and hope that lies within me.
Being a preachers daughter may lead one to believe that faith comes easily for them. Although I am currently appreciative towards the comfort of connection to the church, it took every power available to develop a firsthand faith. Rebelling against parents and God appeared to be the only path towards freedom and who I wanted to be. Escaping from the ongoing church activities seemed to be reached only through the rebellious actions of my peers. The moment of failure came with the realization of self-image. Being overweight in the third grade, I was lead to believe that my appearance was full of disgust and despair. Unable to cope with the negative responses, a decision had to be made. Within one summer I was able to shed the undesirable layers that I was once so confident about. Praised by the agony and starvation I encountered, I became encouraged to follow these ways that I had been sheltered from. Being worshiped by the actions I portrayed could not alter the depression and despair that was growing inside. Finally accepting the emptiness I felt inside was when I embraced the purpose of the life I was created for. Growing up in faith allowed for me to understand that I needed the comfort that only God can give me. Disregarding my parents’ faith, I decided to uncover my own. Believing in God and the Bible aids in the truth that I was determined to find. Now, as I have uncovered my purpose, I hope to reach individuals and connect with them as they uncover and embrace the purpose that God has created for them.